We have just seconds upon meeting a
new person to get him/her to like and be interested in us. This is true for both
personal and professional relationships. Making a meaningful connection in a
short time can give us an edge, whether its during that important interview,
the date you have been excited about, or when trying to secure a new client or
business contact.
One way to grab attention and build
rapport is to be in synch with the
other person. People like those who are similar to them. One easy way to get in
synch with another person is through matching and tuning into that person’s
sensory style.
Below are the main sensory styles.
Most people have a preference for one, but we use all sensory styles depending
on the situation.
Sensory types:
Visual:
- Cares
about appearance, dresses well and likes to stay fit
- Talks
and thinks quickly
- Uses
words and phrases such as:
o
I see
o
See you later
o
Imagine that
o
I can picture it
o
A sight for sore eyes
o
We see eye to eye
Auditory
- In
between visual and kinesthetic styles in terms of appearance and body type
- Moderate
rate of speech and thinking
- Uses
words and phrases such as:
o
I hear you
o
I clicked with him/her
o
Listen
o
I got an earful
o
Tune out/in
o
That rings a bell
Kinesthetic
- Focuses
on comfort rather than style and is not as concerned about body appearance
(unless person is an athlete/trainer)
- Tends
to talk and think more slowly
- Uses
words and phrases such as:
o
I feel you
o
Firm grasp of the situation
o
I connected with him
o
Pain in the neck
o
Go with the flow
o
I will get in touch with you
Challenge yourself to begin
listening to and noticing the styles of others around you. Once you actively
try to pick up on someone’s style, you will find it becomes very easy. You can
start doing this as a fun way to kill time while waiting in line at the super
market, when eating in a restaurant, or while riding on public transit.
Once you become aware of another’s
style, try synchronizing with it by using words/phrases that appeal to that
person’s style. This simple technique can get others to like you quickly,
giving you an edge in any social situation.
Want to know your style? Take the
quiz below to find out.
Sensory Style Quiz:
When
checking into your hotel for vacation, you choose the room that
a.
Has an ocean view but is noisy
b.
Allows you to hear the ocean, but has no view
c.
Is the utmost of comfort and luxury, but has no
view and is noisy
When
faced with a problem, you
a.
Look for alternatives
b.
Talk about the problem
c.
Rearrange the details
When
buying a new car, you want it to
a.
Look good
b.
Sound quiet or powerful
c.
Feel comfortable and/or safe
When
describing to a friend the latest concert you attended, you first
a.
Describe how it looked
b.
Tell your friend how it sounded
c.
Describe how it felt
In
your spare time, you most enjoy
a.
Watching TV/movies or playing video games
b.
Reading or listening to music
c.
Doing something physical like crafts, gardening,
or sports
The
sense you would never want to lose is
a.
Sight
b.
Hearing
c.
Touch
You
spend the most time indulging in
a.
Daydreaming
b.
Listening to your thoughts
c.
Picking up on your feelings
When
someone wants to convince you of something, you
a.
Need to see evidence or proof
b.
Talk yourself through the information
c.
Trust your intuition
You
usually speak and think
a.
Quickly
b.
Moderately
c.
Slowly
Take a
breath. Where did you breath from?
a.
High in your chest
b.
Low in your chest
c.
Your stomach
When
navigating around a new city, you
a.
Use a map/GPS/Google maps
b.
Ask for directions
c.
Trust your intuition
When
buying clothes, you pick
a.
What looks best on you/what looks the most
polished
b.
What makes a personal statement or reflects your
personality
c.
What feels comfortable
When
deciding on a new restaurant to try, you make the decision based on
a.
The building looking impressive
b.
The restaurant being quiet
c.
The restaurant being comfortable
You make
decisions
a.
Quickly
b.
Moderately
c.
Slowly
Tally your responses.
Mostly A’s- Your sensory style is
Visual
Mostly B’s- Your sensory style is
Auditory
Mostly C’s- Your sensory style is
Kinesthetic
Write down your style in rank order
(e.g. VKA). Have your partner and/or close friends take the quiz to see how
well you are matched. People tend to get along best with others who have a
primary or secondary style in common. If you find yourself arguing with or
having trouble connecting with someone, it could be because your sensory styles
are out of synch.
(Information adapted from How to Make People Like You in 90
Seconds or Less- Nicholas Boothman)
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